eucalyptus trees are full of flammable oil that causes the trees to explode during forest fires, killing other trees and spreading its seeds to grow in their place. koalas survive solely because nothing else in their environment Wants To Eat The Fucking Bombs
oh u like that? try this one: the main natural cause of death in koalas is starvation, because
1) their dumbass teeth are SHIT. to be a herbivore and chomp cellulose all day u need some real tough grinders in there, and almost every other herbivore in nature has SOME sort of dental adaptation to make sure they dont run out of tooth by the time they hit middle age. horses have big tall teeth, wombat teeth grow forever, kangaroos have got a little conveyor belt system goin on, etc etc everyone’s doin SOMETHING except fuckign koalas. idiots have tiny fuckin shortass normal teeth that do an okay job for maybe like 15 years and then wear down and leave them with ridiculous fuckin useless old man gums that do shit all. but thats fine bc all koalas do anyway is sit in trees and sleep 22hrs a day then wake up and scream and eat poison and they do this all day every day until they run out of teeth at which point they just fall out of the tree and die
2) idiots can’t die any other fuckin way bc nothing in nature wants to eat them bc their bodies are chocker block with LITERAL poison. fuckin USELESS their flesh just sits around and slowly rots bc its too gross-tasting and toxic for any animal w half a brain cell to think abt going near it. have yall ever seen koala viscera. bc i have and let me tell u that shit is RANK. looks like the inside of a smoker’s lung from some fuckdamn nicabate ad bc the tannins in eucalypt leaves stain their organs like khaki black. like some fuckin dark!steve irwin costume well better piss ur way right off from this one anti-steve bc thats a natural defense mechanism meant to warn u that koalas should in no way be alive and if u touch them theyll drag u into their stupid evolutionary dead-end where they get to sit around all day doin fuck all and pumpin themselves full of brain-killing poison while we run around makin them our olympic games mascots and pretending theyre cute and honest to god looking for ways to save them from the brink of extinction which actually is unnecessary bc a) theyre not really endangered at all, nature is a fuckign miracle and b) the drongos clearly want to die so i say let em
by the way i never elaborated on “koalas sit in trees all day screaming” but heres a lil fuckin. heres a fun nugget heres a lil soundbyte this is what koalas sound like
Also, it doesn’t matter that they’re eating brain-killing poison, because their brains are already tiny, and smooth rather than folded they way most animal brains are to increase neuron surface area. Also full of holes? These animals are so fuckin dumb, they’re basically like if vertebrates tried to evolve a scale insect.
Fucking dumbasses I love them
so they’re the terrestrial equivalent of sunfish?
im crying omg
What’s the bird equivalent
WITHOUT A DOUBT it is the kakapo, the cutest yet worst-evolutionarily-pranked bird in existence
their natural instinct when faced with danger is to just…freeze and not move….which is basically one tiny step above just walking into the hungry maw of the invasive cat/ferret/rat/raccoon/etc etc
they are also Very Bad at mating and, oh btw, mate only ONCE EVERY 5 YEARS OR SO when one particular berry (the Rimu fruit) has a good year
anyway they are the worlds heaviest parrot and only flightless one, can weigh like 4kg/9 pounds (BIG FRIEND), and if they can avoid being blissful evolutionary dum dums can live 60 TO 100 YEARS if only they can keep it together, bless them
I think we should kill every man who wronged megan fox
i think this glosses over something megan said, and that we all know to be true: a lot of women threw her under the bus, a lot of women shamed and insulted her, called her stupid, bimbo and a whore. That was literally her public image for a long time as an actress. And we as women shouldn’t collectively absolve ourselves form our part in harming her, and from participating in that kind of culture. Saying things like “women don’t treat other women in the public sphere like that anymore” isn’t an excuse. Plenty of men were undoubtedly creepy and disgusting towards Megan Fox, but many women stood by and either cheered them on or actively participated. That is something we have to recognise if we expect to grow, and continue to do better.
Women can also be enemies to women. It isn’t always just men.
megan fox has every right to be upset at the women who talked bad about her (and When the revolution comes, Theyre All Getting Fined For That)
BUT acting like women just labeled her those things instead of that being a fabricated persona assigned to her by the men in hollywood to easily market her to the masses as a sex symbol from the moment she turned 18, AND to act like regular women Really had ANY sort of power to hinder her career like THAT so Suddenly while she was on Top of the world, is just like…NOT True.
the same people that skyrocketed her career were the same ones that ruined it. like women who hated her for no reason are still in the wrong but thats a different conversation about the casual misogyny of our culture.
putting them on the same level as rich and powerful directors and producers who used her for their own gain for Years and at the first mention of her being uncomfortable with something, decided shes not only getting fired from Their movie but also making sure she got blacklisted so she can’t get cast anywhere else?? thats not the same thing
to put it in perspective, even if women Didnt subscribe to that false image of megan fox and used critical thinking skills to not hate her for no reason, she was still gonna suffer that ordeal. Because at the end of the day, her career was only Hurt when it was men who had a problem with her
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