So I have this weird campaign going on where the alignments of some creatures don’t match the book. Vampires being one of them. So of course when an NPC says he wants to visit his vampire lord friend the whole group is concerned and doesnt trust him. He’s introduced as Emil, and the monk goes:
“You said he’s Emil?”
“Yes. Lord Emil Drokus-”
“Or are WE the meal?”
And cue the whole party taking about two seconds to realize what he said before we start to die laughing.
Elf androgyny and dwarf androgyny and orc androgyny are like three very different forms of androgyny and defiance of the binary and they’re all so good
Elf: everyone’s pretty, but has no ass.
Dwarf: everyone’s hairy, but has no ass.
Orc: everyone’s SHREDDED and can crack walnuts between their cheeks.
My D&D dice bag design, a sleeping dragon on its hoard of golden treasure, is up for voting on fanforge! Please help it get produced by giving it 5 stars and a comment! Click here!
They’ve
asked me to make a prototype of it, and while I warned them I haven’t
made anything functional like a bag before, they want to see what I come
up with anyway. I’m pretty nervous about it, but hopefully it can
become official D&D merch!
So I play a blind bard named Erin (we run the mechanics kinda similar to Toph, with advantage on perception using hearing or feeling, and auto-fail on seeing). I like to make sure that I keep that as a characteristic that no one forgets. Resulting in this-
Monifa (Sorceress): “Well, lets hit the journal!”
Me: Erin raises her hand and slaps it down where she thinks the journal is.
Erin (IC): “Do… Do you get it?”
Monifa (OOC): I gently pick up her hand and place it on the book.
Context: I am DMing a game based in a fantasy version of Ancient Rome. Elvish is based in Ancient Greek and Dwarvish is based on Irish Gaelic. I was helping my ranger create the character sheet for her animal companion.
DM: So what kind of animal do you want?
Ranger: Can I choose a Roc?
DM: Sure. What do you want to name it?
Ranger: Dubhan Ioannides.
DM: So Dwarvish for Dwayne and Elvish for Johnson?
Ranger: (giggling) Yes exactly.
DM: You’re naming your animal companion Dwayne “the Roc” Johnson. Oh my fucking God.
so I’ve got this headcanon that Guardians of the Galaxy is really the Avengers playing a table top roleplaying game, where Bucky’s the DM who suffers through heaps and loads of trolling
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