The human cleric has just healed the gnome bard for 4 points of damage.

Gnome: Thanks, binch

Human: Excuse me!?

Gnome: That was genuine, “binch” means friend in Gnomish

DM: Roll to see if you know that word in Gnomish

Human: Crit fail

DM: You don’t know any Gnomish and “binch” is the worst insult in your language

a d2 is called a coin

battlecrazed-axe-mage:

battlecrazed-axe-mage:

A coin is certainly one example of a d2, yes!

…y’all aren’t wrong but I’m still deeply concerned for some of you

yourplayersaidwhat:

““This bitch empty. YEET!””

— -A particularly strong enemy before chucking my Animated Armor Paladin down the fucking street.

yourplayersaidwhat:

(Before the session, in group chat)

Bard: Try not to burn down any more towns without me.

Me: No promises.

(In group chat, directly after the party has killed a spider demon and in the process set fire to the town due to the copious amounts of spider silk)

Me: Sorry. I said no promises.

Bard: You guys had one job!

Me: There was a spider. It’s gone now.